Darkwatch for PS2 Review

QUICK NOTE: If you're wondering why it's been over 5 days since I last blogged, its honestly just that I've been lazy. I'm not going to lie.

Darkwatch is one of the most underrated fps games of the 6th generation, in my opinion. It's a western shooter that's hard to put down with great guns, fun levels and creative enemies. It's obvious that HighMoon had fun making this game. So, onto the review.

The story, however, is not anything special. You're an outlaw named Jericho Cross and you hijack a train, then after fighting through zombies blow open a vault. However, instead of money inside, is the Darkwatch's greatest enemy. A vampire lord named Lazarus Malkoth then bites you and you are given the curse of the vampire, the game then outlining Jericho's struggle for humanity. The epic gameplay makes up for the lack of story, though.

For those that care, graphics and sound in this game are good. Voice acting is above average and the graphics are actually pretty good, looking like an early Xbox360 game. Music is also very good and fits the mood of the game perfectly.

Guns are designed great and feel great too. Dual pistols are my favorite, but it would be a lot better (and convenient) if you could hold down the fire button to fire them over and over again. The carbine and crossbows are a lot better too, but generally, I found myself vampire jumping into the faces of flying enemies and punching their heads off. Not to say that you don't ever need guns, but I could imagine someone finishing the game without them, excluding the boss fights. Ammo is also common, as zombies called gunslingers carry weapons and you can pick them up for ammo. Dynamite is also very useful.

Speaking of enemies, they're really well designed. From the gunslingers to the fat zombies with the swords, they're fun to fight and each one tougher than the next. Bosses are also good, but the first one on top of a train isn't hard at all. Just meele when he comes close and shoot when he's far away. One enemy that was annoying, however, was the skeletons that carried TNT barrels. They were too fast to shoot when they were far away but when they got close they either blew you up or were blown up by you (still hurting you). And, you have to keep a distance from them since when they die the TNT explodes. But that's hard because, as mentioned, they're fast, and come in groups. Aside from them though, good enemies.

A feature I enjoyed was the good or bad choices. At some parts of the game, you come across items you can interact with in either a good or evil way. Depending on which you choose, you get a different power. Powers are also really neat, and helpful, such as Bloody Frenzy.

In conclusion, Darkwatch was and still is an overlooked PS2 fps that combines steampunk and gothic horror into a fun experience that will keep you hooked through all 6 hours of gameplay. Buy the game if you want a fun and different fps experience, since it's cheap now.

Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure for PS2 Review

Usually, I don't play games like this one, aka ghetto games. However, I really do enjoy this game. Is it the most underrated game ever on PS2? No, but it was definatley overlooked, since I never hear anyone talk about this game.

First of all, the story. You are Trane, and you just got into graffiti. Trane is also a massive douchebag. However, the law is really tight on it, so you're constantly running away from them whilst you vandalise. There are other vandals, too, such as White Mike, Sane Smith and Cope2. Some are your enemies, and some are your friends. White Mike, however, you fight early in the game. But, due to Kry-1 being your friend, he joins you later on. The main villains are called Vandals Of New Radius (VaNR) and are lead by Gabe, Dip and Spleen. They "cross you out" by spray painting a cross on your back after beating you up. Then, you swear revenge on them when you get up. Fitting title.

Combat, unlike IGN says, is good in this game. There are many buttons and it can be fast paced at times, but the constant tutorials at the start of the game are annoying as the game pauses when they pop up. You want to play the game, not read, as what it tells you to do you probably figure out for yourself if you're not stupid. Once it gives you freedom though, you can grapple, punch, slap, kick, evade attacks in the best way possible, insult punch (where you slow motion punch a guy and then can slap him in slow mo, which fills your blue meter up) and hit enemies with melee weapons. However, Trane (being the scumbag he is) gets into fights for stupid reasons. He calls White Mike fat out of the blue and then beats him up. That's not really helping the fact Trane isn't likeable from the start. You know, if DmC Dante was the main character here there would be no difference.

Let's talk about the platforming. I like it, but it's just so slow. It would be so much better if you went faster across walls and pipes. But, it's not as bad as platforming in other games, because I've seen a lot worse (Remember Me is one of the worst offenders, since the camera is blocked by a lot of things and it has a lot of awkward jumps), but if you want to see good platforming look at the boss fight with Edgar in Bully. Before you get to fight him, you chase him, by crawling, balancing, jumping and so on. It's great. If it was the same here I would love it. Actually, you know what, if Rockstar remade this game themselves with just the same plot, it would sell a million copies.

For those that care, graphics and sound are good. Graphics are what you would expect on a PS2 game and sound is nice, with decent voice acting, a sweet soundtrack and no audiospikes. Level design is linear, although there is some exploration such as in the first part of the game.

Sadly, this game was overlooked, but if you want a fun game to kill time on PS2 then I reccomend this game. It's fun, the tagging is great and hey, you get to play a scumbag who fights scumbags! Buy this game and ignore the reviews on this game. It's fun.

When I Will Blog

I'll blog this weekend.

Rocky for Gamecube Review

And in this corner, we have Gamecube Balboa!

Usually, movie games suck. But every once and a while, a one comes along that is just awesome. They follow the movie and aren't made for money, those games being ones like Rocky for the Nintendo Gamecube.

The graphics and sound, for those who care, are good. The sound is high quality and there are no audio spikes (at least none that I've encountered) and graphics are what you'd expect, except Rocky's face looks kinda weird and there are one or two glitches every now and then. They're far from awful, though. The story of Rocky... well, I've never seen the movies, actually, even though I really should. Look it up if you want to know. I can't really judge it, but from what I know it's a pretty good story.

Boxing is fun, because it isn't button mashing. Far from it, and it can get pretty intense. B punches in the gut, A punches in the chest, X punches in the face, R and B does an uppercut (useful for knockouts), Z is to taunt, and to dodge is the joystick and L. A cheat code to unlock all boxers and arenas is hold R and press UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, LEFT, L at the main menu. :D

The boxing gets harder as it goes on. Spider Rico, aka the first person you fight, is pretty easy. I also like how there is a strategy for each boxer, such as just take it easy and dodge for heavy attackers, and be aggressive to quickly knock out the light attackers. It gets rid of repetitive fights and makes each fight different. I like it.

Training is not boring and worth it as it ups stats. You can auto train, but it doesn't help as much as training normally. You are given a certain time to do a certain move. There are different types of training you can do, from pads to boxing bags. Thus, you want to train, to get better and do well, instead of it coming off as pointless and boring.

Rocky won't win any awards or game of the years or anything, but it is still a neat game and is quite impressive actually. I suggest buying it if you collect for the Gamecube or are just a fan of boxing games. It's really cool.

Patapon for PSP Review

Circle circle square circle!

I generally don't play handheld games in long periods, but this game I couldn't pull myself away from. Patapon is the awesome, unique and addictive rhythm game by Pyramid and Japan Studio. Why haven't I blogged for so long you ask? I was on holiday and since I got back I haven't had the time until now. But anyway, here's the review.

The story is that you are the Almighty, aka God, and you must guide the Patapons (the little guys in the picture) through many scenarios such as hunting, battles and so on by using a holy drum they have given you. Each button makes different noises; square makes a PATA noise, circle makes a PON noise, triangle makes a CHAKA noise and X makes a DON noise. By using them together, you can give orders through different combos, such as PATA PATA PATA PON moves your Patapons forward, PON PON PATA PON attacks, CHAKA CHAKA PATA PON defends and PON PATA PON PATA makes all Patapons retreat. Yet, you can't use them all at the start, you have to unlock them.

Graphics and sound, for those who care, are great. The music is fitting, the chanting of the Patapons is good and the graphics are really artsy, fitting for the game. The Patapons look great, and I like the way how they worship you. I just wish they could put video games in the altar. Speaking of the altar, that's where the offerings are put from the Patapons. They usually put good stuff in there, and it's a neat feature. You can also discover new things in battle and generally just by playing the game.

The game, however, is not for everyone. One, it's a fast-paced game, meaning that if you screw up then you really screw up, and I lost a hunting mission because I accidentally tapped the wrong button and the animals ran away. Two, the game is not easy. In later levels, it really becomes a challenge, and if you don't stay in rhythm then it takes a while to get back into it. Also, you have to wait for the Patapons to chant the combo before you can do another one. Also, having to push a bunch of buttons in a row whilst in battle can be difficult for some.

Enemies are good in this game. Just like for your Patapons, there are different classes for them, each tougher than the next. But, you fortunately start with basic soldiers and then work your way up the food chain to ones like that giant insect thing in the picture above. This gives you time to get better and prepare for the next battle. Enemies aren't overpowered either, and bosses aren't impossible.

Patapon is a great rhythm game, and you should pick it up. It's something different and unique, unlike Call of Duty. If you have a PSP definatley try this game out. Like mentioned, it isn't for everyone, but if you're up for something new this is the game for you.

Where Have I Been?!

Answer: on holiday. I'll be back to my blogging tomorrow. :3

Crazy Taxi for PS2 Review

"Brilliant"

Sega is one of my favorite companies. They made the Sonic series and so many other of my favorite games. This one, Crazy Taxi, is one of my favorites. It's better (and worse) on other systems, my favorite version being the Dreamcast one, but the one on the PS2 is still really great and worth your time if you own a PS2.

In this game, you choose between 4 taxi drivers, and your goal is to drive as many people to their destinations as you can. Every time you do, you get a time bonus. Sounds boring? Well, let's say you go really fast, get extra money for impressing the passenger and getting there quicker, are timed to get them there (usually in 40 seconds), and you crash a ton. Each character is different: Gus is cool, B.D.Joe is crazy, Axel is lively, yet I've never played Gena. I'm guessing she's like Rochelle from L4D2, and that's why I avoid playing her.

The music in this game is great. It's upbeat, and fits the theme of this game well. For those that care, graphics and sound on the PS2 are great. The voice acting is good, the sound is clear and the graphics are cartoony, awesome, and suit the game. The things the characters say are also sometimes funny, and the passengers yell and throw dirt, kick dirt or whatever at the drivers if they run out of time. Which happens a lot... you'll get a passenger you have to drive a long distance, arrive 1 second late, and get barely any money because it said you were slow. This, like the guy who sold me the game mentioned, drives you insane.

Gameplay.

The map is big, and full of traffic and obstacles to make it a more fun experience. Not to say there isn't parts where there's plenty of room, because there is, and the game balances open space and busy, traffic-packed streets very well. My only issue is that a map as big as this leaves room for some interesting stuff, such as loop de loops and other stuff. But here, there's only really ramps and hills you can fly off. Good, but there could be a ton more.

A little feature I like about the game is that each passenger has a money sign over their head, and depending on how much they're gonna pay you and how far they're going, it can be as good as a green sign to as poor-paying as a red one. It let's you know who to pick up, depending on how much time you have left. Also, this is necessary, but the further you go the more time you have to get the passenger there. Thank God they added that.

If Crazy Taxi taught me anything, it's that if a taxi flips over a truck then passengers love it, and taxis are invincible. This game is fun and easy to find at a low price. Pick it up if you want a fun, non-generic classic PS2 game. But if you can choose between this and the Dreamcast version, get the Dreamcast version.

Top 5 Games Others Hate I Like

Every now and then, there comes a game that someone doesn't like, and also sometimes a game someone does like. So, here are the top 5 games that you hate but I like. Rules are that there will only be games I've played on this list and it's not in order.

5) Dmc: Devil May Cry

Alright, this one was liked by some but most hated it. Critics gave it a good score, yet players hated it... and it's not CoD. Button masher? No, it's called a beat-em-up. Weak characters? I guess. Bad story? Possibly. Not as good as others? Agreed. But little things don't make it a bad game. Imagine if I said all Atari games were bad because they had no sound and no story. So what? Enjoy it for what it is.

4) Duke Nukem Forever

This was in development for 15 years. And what we got was definatley not worth all that wait. I'll admit. But if you look past it being disappointing... it's actually kinda fun. Sure, it wasn't that funny, but it tried. It wasn't anything special, but it was still fun. Weapons were nice, and boss fights were fun. If you weren't a fan of Duke Nukem and played this first, like me, you'd enjoy it.

3) Syndicate

The start of this game put me off. It wasn't anything great and was just like most fps games. But, because my friend said it was so good, I pushed on. And then it introduced mechanics that made it GREAT. You can hack things, make enemies turn against each other then kill themselves, and more. If you gave up before you got to hack stuff, the one, you get bored easily, and two, you need to give games better chances and impressing you. Syndicate was awesome because of this, and it reminds me of Deus Ex Human Revolution.

2) Serious Sam: Next Encounter

Alright. I can see why you wouldn't like this. It's a DOOM ripoff that has a misleading cover and the game is incredibly wacky... too wacky for some. But it's an entertaining ripoff. If you didn't expect much, the game is challenging and enjoyable, with good co-op. And, that's good enough for me. So, if you want something like DOOM for your GameCube, buy this.

1) Spongebob Squarepants The Movie (game)

Battle for Bikini bottom was definatley the best Spongebob game. It was like Super Mario 64 actually. And then this game out and gamers hated it. But why? It wasn't as good, sure, but it was still fun. It took away some things but still managed to have interesting mechanics and I enjoyed it. So don't hate it for being different.

THE ENDZ!

Destroy All Humans! for PS2 Review

This game is an example of people calling a game bad when in fact, it isn't and is actually far from it in my eyes. Destroy All Humans! is funny, enjoyable, and memorable. A lot of people seem to know about it, too. So here's a review of the game.

The story is not great, but it's a good one. You play as Crypto, your aim being to destroy all the humans on Earth or the alien race will not be able to stay immortal through cloning themselves. Also, a clone of you crashes his UFO and is captured by the human military. Funny thing is though, you only destroy America...

Characters are also memorable. There's - obviously - Crypto, who wants to vaporise everything and be destructive. The Furon leader, however, prefers Crypto to destroy all humans in a less insane way. It leads to some funny cutscenes every now and then. Humans are portrayed as hating Crypto, and to be honest, it's just like in real life (us being super-cautious about aliens).

Weapons... there are some really awesome weapons in this game, and that's for sure, but the first weapon you get I don't like. It's weak and why use it when you can pick up humans and throw them at each other, then going to their corpses and tearing out the brain with your mind to get DNA?

Let's talk about your brain in the game. It's actually really fun to use and in my opinion is one the best features in games. You can read human and animal thoughts for missions or (human thoughts only) to stay as a hologram of a human (named holobob), that you transform into by going up to a human and pressing O. You can pick up humans and throw them, which is also good fun. You can hypnotise them, which you'll do alot in missions and when you're stealthing when you can't use holobob. Finally, you can mutilate dead humans or animals, to get their brains out. Collect the brains for DNA, which you use to advance levels. Fun feature.

In Destroy All Humans!, there are some really, really fun missions and I was surprised by that. There's one where you have to vaporise scientists that have turned cows into exploding zombie radioactive cows, and then later in the same one I think you get to holobob the mayor. There really are surprises waiting for you in this game. Only issue? It's a shooooooooort game. It lasts 10 hours. I haven't beaten it yet, though.

For those that care, graphics and sound is great. If you've ever played Goldeneye: Rogue Agent, the graphics in cutscenes are that quality. The sound is good, with good voice acting, and the Furon leader sounds like Invader Zim. You can't not love that.

Fun: 8. It's original and got some surprises to keep you entertained.
Graphics and Sound: 8.5. Impressive for the PS2, like that in Goldeneye: Rogue Agent.
Writing: 9. Funny and well voice-acted.
Story: 7. It's nothing great, but still a good story.
Control: 8. Simple control.
Level Design: 8.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10, aka 4/5 stars.

PlayStation 2 Review

Currently best selling video games console of all time, the PlayStation 2 (or the PS2) is great. With a long lifetime of games being made up until 2013, it definatley deserves to be bought. And here is a review of it, since I just got it today for cheap (and no, it wasn't the slim).

First of all, let me just say this. People originally bought the PS2 as a DVD player, because it was the cheapest on the market, at the time. However, this messed up the insides of the PS2, and they stopped working in about 6-8 years if people used it for this reason. Yet, if you use it just for games, you'll be fine. But if you want it as a dvd player get the PS2 slim.

The controller is also great. It is officially called the Dualshock 2, the first Dualshock to have analog sticks, and they work out well. The buttons are the same, and the triggers are buttons which I like. It fits snugly in your hand and no part of the plastic feels sharp or soft. The light to show that the controller is connected is between the analog sticks and is a nice feature.

Some of the best games are on the PS2, as well. Okami, Tomb Raider, Metal Gear Solid, GTA: San Andreas, Bully, Grand Turismo, God of War, Guitar Hero 2... and that's barely a few. For the ones I've played, I've rarely encountered clunky controls, which is good.

Something they got right on the PS2 but not the PS3 was the material they built it with. You can't get fingerprints on the PS2 like you can the PS3, and same with the PS2 slim. It makes it look better even when it gets used, and it feels good when you're carrying the system.

There's only two things I don't like about it though. First one, I don't really blame the PS2 since most other consoles of the same generation were doing the same, but you have to save games on a memory card rather than onto a hardrive. And you have to buy the memory card separate, I think. Ugh.

Secondly, it killed the Dreamcast. Whilst the Dreamcast was a GREAT system, it didn't sell well because it was just after the Sega Saturn (which was -despite me and some others liking it- hated, so it put Sega's console market in a bad place with only 12% of the market controlled by them) and the PS2 was more hyped so it outsold the Dreamcast massively. Shame.

Moving on. The PS2 had some really fun and cool accessories, such as the pistol, the better controller, the driving wheel, the remote, and there was even a KATANA controller. Whilst some were bad, they were still pretty creative.

The PS2 was mostly black, but I think it looks pretty cool silver or red. There is many colours it comes in. Another thing worth mentioning is that the PS2 is almost silent, unlike the Xbox or Gamecube. PS2 was great, and is great. I really reccomend the slim rather than the original, but either way, it's a blast.

OVERALL SCORE: Awesome. 10/10.

Nintendo Game Boy Review

There have been a lot of Game Boys: Game Boy Colour, Game Boy Advance, Game Boy Advance SP, and Game Boy Micro to name most. But I'm talking about the original one from 1989 (released in Europe during 1990). Think of it as a portable NES. I consider it one of the best portable consoles of all time.

The button layout can make a handheld system great or junk. And this one isn't junk. It's like an NES controller, with a d-pad and the B and A buttons, but also with two other "SELECT" and "START" buttons. On the side, you can control contrast which is really helpful, and on the other you can adjust volume.

One thing that isn't that great, though, is that there is no menu on the Gameboy. You switch it on, and the Nintendo logo appears. That's it, and then it waits for you to put in a cartridge. It could have a "memory" option or a "settings" to get a custom background, at least something.

A kinda bad thing is the cartridges are hard to store. I usually put cartridges on shelves, but here's the problem with these: there are no end labels. So you have to pull out a game, see what it is, put it back, and repeat until you find the one you want. Thus, I now put them in a box.

Games on the Game Boy are numerous, at 716 (not for all Game Boys). They're basic, but still fun, the best one on it being Mario. Think of it: the first system that allowed Mario on the go. Why not? Only issue: you can't save. So games aren't long, but c'mon! A good thing about them, though, is that you can play them on the DS and GameCube (with an extension, I know I said there was no accesories for the GC but I was wrong, and it can also play Game Boy Advance and SP games).

A good thing - you can put in headphones!

The Game Boy was advanced for it's time, but the DS is better than it now. If you're a retro gamer, get it, but if you just wanna play the games, get a GameCube with the extension or a DS.

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10.

GTA IV: The Lost and Damned Review

GTA is awesome. DLC, however, is usually crap. Episodes From Liberty City throws that out the window, with great missions and a solid story. Also, you can get this on a disk with The Ballad of Gay Tony, which is great.

First off, there is so much to do. Play cards, play an arcade game, pay respect to dead bikers, shoot random people, annoy cops, blow things up, watch TV (which is HILARIOUS) and so on. If you get bored of the story missions, it's guaranteed that there'll be something to keep your interest.

For those that care, graphics and sound is good. GTA IV graphics are better, but they're still nice here, and look pretty similar.Sound is also great, with some amazing voice acting.

Bikers will be replaced when they die, and you'll hate losing them. When they do die, you can see them on the wall where all bikers who have been killed in shootouts are displayed. Their AI can be a little annoying, though, as when you ride they can crash into you if you suddenly break. The driving of bikes is also kinda slippery, since turning whilst going fast can make your do a 360 degree spin even if you don't want to. There is next to no grip on bikes.

Guns are awesome here. You have your beast double-barrel shotgun, as well as other classic redneck weapons. They're powerful yet fair, realistic, and a whole lot of fun. Pistols, shotguns, smgs, EVERYTHING. That's a great part of GTA - guns.

Characters are memorable. Johnny is your character who is the stereotypical "American biker" who loves booze, money and women. Billy is much of the same, but harder and the leader of the Lost. They all have beards... most, anyway.

One thing I love is how characters from TLAD appear in TBOGT. It's actually pretty cool how they hate each other, but don't actually go after each other.

GTA: TLAD is great and I reccomend it to people who like GTA IV and even GTA V. It's really cheap as I got it for £10, and it's probably cheaper some other places.

Fun: 8. GTA is always fun.
Characters: 8. Not one dimensional and you'll hate losing most of them.
Controls: 7. I've never liked how A is run and X is jump and all that, but they're still good controls once you get used to GTA.
Story: 8. Not amazing, but good.
Graphics and Sound: 7.5. Not as good as that in GTA IV, but still great.
Writing: 8.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10, aka 4/5 stars.

FIFA 12: Tales From A Terrible Player

Okay... so you know I said I was going to do a LittleBigPlanet 2 review? Well, it's coming. I just can't get round to it amongst other things. Okay? Good. So, I went to CEX today, buying Crackdown, Prey, Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary (I love Halo),  and Gears of War. And then what did I see for £2? Fifa 12. Sighing, I picked it up. Did it look bad? No, of course not, and I'm sure it's a great game for those who know what the hell to do. But I don't. So here is what I thought when first playing it for 1-2 hours.

"Okay, FIFA 12. This intro is kinda longish though... and it's still going... uh... *eats crisps whilst waiting*... OKAY, I'LL SKIP IT, IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS."

"Yay, training! And slide... no. And slide... nearly. And slide... OH COME ON! And slide... gotcha! Wait, what? TWO MORE TIMES? FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

"And pass the ball! Wait, no, that's kick. What about the opposite button? And that's kick. Oh, there we go. And it went off field. Well done me."

"I got this! I'll tackle him - GODDAMN IT YOU SWITCHED PLAYERS YOU SON OF A BI-"

"And sliding! And switch player and accidentally sliding! STOP SLIDING!"

"Wait, I'm the goalie now? No... and who? Wait what?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"How do I start a game? What's a pro match? Why am I shooting goals at a random guy? AND CAN I PLAY YET?!"

"STOP COMMENTATING!"

"STOP SLIDING!"

"And tackle... WAIT WHERE'S THE BALL GOING?"

"Trading cards? Wat? Is this FIFA or a Windows game?"

"Time to play online... and codes? Lolno."

"DAMMIT!"

"SHIZA!"

"I HAD THAT!"

"STOP... SWITCHING... PLAYERS!"

"Why do footballers act so weird when the score?"

"Why is Rooney so p*ssed on the cover?"

"HERMAGERD, RUNNING LOOKS WEIRD."

"LAAAAAAAG."

"And I got a useless trading pack!"

"Menu sucks."

"Can I start yet?"

"I don't want a replay!"

"You know, I was gonna do a longplay of Halo 3 tonight... BUT I NEED TO SCORE A GOAL FIRST."

"I CAN'T SCORE."

"I CAN'T SCORE!"

"No... no... I CAN'T SCORE FOR SH*T!"

Yeah, those were my rants I had. Okay, FIFA seems great, but I dunno what I'm doing. A quote from AVGN to finish:

"Why so much football? Football on thanksgiving, football on birthdays, football on Christmas! Everywhere you go, football football football! Madden 98, Madden 92, Madden 25, Madden 14 WHO THE F*CK IS JOHN MADDEN?"

Can't blog today!

Because my pinky feels weird as shiza. So wait until tomorrow, and I'll review a PS3 game. ;)

Fable II Review

Fable II is one of my favorite RPGs around. Why it isn't talked about more, I don't know. It has the same sort of mechanics as Mass Effect but with it's own, new mechanics, and the amount of detail is outstanding here. So here's my review.

The story is simple, minor spoilers here. You play as Sparrow, and your goal is to save Albion from evil, 5 centuries after the defeat of Jack of Blades. You buy a magic music box for 5 gold from a merchant and your sister makes a wish; you are then woken at night to visit the castle. You both get shot and your sister killed, but you survive, to avenge your sister's death. Hell, that makes for a short game, but Fable II is actually around a good 15 hours, trusting you don't rush it.

Characters are good. You can even care about the unimportant villagers, as you have the option to either love them, hate them, or become friends. It's a really good system. The main characters are also good, your sister is likeable, so is the woman who helps you defeat the Lord. They are all great and you get to develop how much you like them. It's a great system.

For those that care, the graphics and sound are good for 2008. Graphics are about as good as those in Bioshock 2, and sound is good. SFX is pretty suiting for the game, and voice acting is also nicely done. I like it.

One thing I should mention is that your dog is one of the best video game companions ever. It can find places to dig, and treasure, as well as bark to get your attention. He also follows you everywhere, and looks cute. They way you get the dog is also sweet too.

Combat is fun. Whilst X for sword, Y for gun and B for magic may seem ideal for a button masher, it actually turns out to be a blast of fun. You can combine each to get powerful self-made combos, or just spam them and yet get a satisfactory result from it. I am really surprised a basic-looking combat system is so great.

Enemies and bosses are good. From the final boss which is an amazing challenge to the speedy bandit boss near the start of the game, they all have build up, and even if the death is simple of them it's forgivable because of that buildup. Bandits, midget monsters and so on will be a challenge, so get out your sword and crossbow and blow them away.

Fable II is my FAVORITE RPG. It has good graphics, a fun combat system, the story is great, and I just love Fable.

Story: 8. Great and simple.
Characters: 8.
Fun: 9. A ton of fun.
Sound and Graphics: 8. Good voice acting and graphics like Bioshock 2 (not as in dark, but similar).
Controls: 9. A 9 because it throws button mashing expectations out the window.
Writing: 9. I like the writing because it flows with the story smoothly.
Level Design: 8. Good for an RPG.

OVERALL SCORE: 9/10, aka 4.5 stars.

Duke Nukem Forever Review

Hail to the king of ego, baby.

After 15 years, and much hype, with the game looking EPIC in 2001's trailer... it was met with hatred from the fans. And guess what? I agree it sucks... but is also fun at some points. The comedy is bad, but sometimes it's fun.

What do you think the best video game opening is? Bioshock? Max Payne 3 (even though I fell asleep during it)? HELL NO! It's this game with Duke taking a p*ss in a urinal, first person. I thought I had bought the thing second hand and accidentally pressed continue, but no, the guy is taking a p*ss, first thing in the game. Hell, at least you can grab 5G by stealing a turd out of a toilet. And what can you do with that turd, you may ask?

TO THE WINDOW
TO THE WALL
STICK THAT TURD ON UNTIL IT FALLS.

Level design is sometimes bad, sometimes good. When it's bad though, it's REALLY bad (just like in Mirror's Edge when it messes up there, but I still love that game). Minor spoiler here, but at one point, there is an awkward RC car section when Duke Nukem is shrunk, and it's one of those "where the hell do I go" type of places. However, I don't usually like survival missions, but the maps for survival missions in Duke Nukem Forever are great. And turret sections... ignoring the first one, they're good.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I think I'll point it out. IT THROWS G AT YOU. 5G for playing with poop, 5G for drinking a beer, 5G for beating a mini boss, 5G for drawing balls or whatever on a whiteboard, give me all the G in the world! Seriously though, achievements should be awarded for things that were challenging to achieve, not for drinking beer you found on the floor or starting the game past an easy boss.

Humor in the writing is average. Not as good as in Duke Nukem 3D, but it's alright. I mean, hell, some are rolling-your-eyes bad, yet there's some that make me laugh such as the hidden South Park reference the two soldiers say. Duke Nukem himself though isn't that funny. Swearing, references and wordplay is the only things he can do, and is executed poorly. :(

And for the first part of the game... Duke is just f*cking around. You get hit by invisible wall after invisible wall instead of having a much better cutscene, being forced to watch or listen to STUPID STUFF. 15 years it took you to develop this, and 3 different great game companies working on it, ay? HOW DID YOU MESS IT UP? Drinking beer, downing steroids, punching aliens, playing pinball, skyping Obama, getting shrunk, playing your own game, throwing pool balls around, punching whiners in the face, signing kids' autographs and playing in their RC cars, WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON? And Duke has gone reeeeeeeaaaaaaallllly soft in his old age. Instead of punching a douche on his throne, he takes his picture. C'mon Duke! What happened to you?

Enemies are easy. There is NOTHING you can't kill with 3-bullet-burst machine guns and the power of steroids. Sure, beer helps defend you from damage, but you get it back in like 5 seconds despite a stupid amount of damage. Weapons are fun though, as you can hollow out enemies with a shotgun or shrink and stamp on them. Yet, there's nothing here you can't do in Duke Nukem 3D.

The story is weak. You're Duke, and aliens are stealing Earth's women. That's it. I would ignore it if it was funny due to it, but it isn't so it's ignorable, yet constantly shoved down your throat by invisible walls every 2 seconds. Do we really care Duke's show has been cancelled? Not really, no, so don't freeze us without a cutscene to tell us.

For those that care, graphics and sound are good and bad. Graphics are good, looking like a  shooter like BRINK, but sound is rare. Mostly, when platforming or shooting, the game is eerily quiet except for the dull over-generic music and the basic sfx.

Duke Nukem Forever is not a bad game, but it's nothing good. 15 years and we get this? Come on. That's lazy. If you really wanted to play a good Duke Nukem forever game just buy and play Duke Nukem 3D. The only difference is the graphics.

Story: 6. A weak story, but it seemed forgivable.
Characters: 6. Good characters, bad writing, and Duke is now soft.
Fun: 7. It is fun, but takes forever to start.
Sound and Graphics: 6.5. Good graphics, bad sound. And I hate the writing for Duke.
Controls: 6. Why the d-pad to interact with certain things instead of just the usual button?
Writing: 4. Barely funny, sadly.
Level Design: 6. Hit or miss, really.

OVERALL SCORE: 6/10, aka 3/5 stars.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution Review

I love Sci-Fi games. Ones such as Red Faction: Guerrilla,  Mass Effect 2, and this one are my personal picks. So, with a one that has balls-breakingly hard bosses and intense hacking, does it live up to all of it's hype?

First of all, though, a minor complaint. There are minor spoilers here, so if you don't want the first part spoilt, skip this paragraph. Now that those people have went, onto the complaint. During the start of the game, whilst your lab is being attacked by terrorists, you have no health, ammo, or radar HUD at all. It looks cool, sure, and it doesn't confuse me, but let's say I was a casual. I would be confused as hell. Not a huge thing, but I could see it causing confusion for some.

Moving onto the actual review now. The story I actually UNDERSTAND ALL OF IT. Set off the fireworks. You play as a man called Adam, a security guard at Sarif Industries in Detroit. Then it, as mentioned, gets attacked by terrorists, and you get shot. Your body gets rebuilt however, and you're called back into action. Simple, but an awesome idea.

Guns are awesome. You have assault rifles like your Combat Rifle (the one you first get), close range revolvers and shotguns, smgs like your machine pistol, snipers, and everything a terrorist-killing badass would need. They're good, and ammo isn't short, you just gotta know where to look... or just look on desks if you're a lazy moron.

Level design is brilliant. You'll be having so much fun shooting gas tanks and gassing rooms, afterwards crawling through an air vent hidden behind some crates to escape. As well as that, enemy placement is sweet. They're positioned perfectly for both stealthy and un-stealthy methods, just like in Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas.

Now, enemies. You have the terrorists, each with smart AI and a variety of guns. They're pretty useful for loot and ammo. Then you have the robotic enemies, which can be hacked in an intense way. Sweet and smart AI for them too, and a challenging fight. Just lob a grenade though and you'll be A-OK.

Hacking is a great system and a great idea. You will be sweating onto the controller as you try to sneak around and fortify buildings to get the main part. If you're detected though, you better hurry up, and snag all the extra things you can for more rewards. If you fail though, try harder next time, you only have so many tries (and sometimes only one). It's intense and rewarding.

Characters are good also. Adam is likeable but also tough, as well as characters that await such as Megan. Hell, even some of the antagonists are likeable, such as the Adam-face-shooting Lawrence Barrett. You'd be more likely to become president than you are to find a bad character in this game. So start running for it.

For those that care, graphics and sounds are AWESOME. Graphics give a futuristic style that is chocolate for your eyes, that just looks awesome. Can't describe it any other way. Sound is also really good, with amazingly well-done voice acting and sfx sounding great. It's also not too hard but is definatley challenging at the right moments... for the most part. If you're not careful, as little as 5 shots can kill you.

Controls are smooth too. They're simple for any common FPS player, and they're taught to you well (either that or you figure it out for yourself). And thank LORD GABEN that the tutorials are optional. It's like Just Cause 2's and Far Cry 3's tutorials, and I like that way.

I've never played any other Deus Ex games, but this one has made me want to. It's fast paced, great, and has a simple story with awesome controls and graphics. Buy it, it's cheap at CEX, as it's only around £8.00 at the most. And it's worth more.

Story: 10. Praise Notch, I understand a full story in the game. And it's a great story too.
Characters: 9. They're iconic and stand out.
Fun: 8. Intense hacking and shootouts will enthrall you, but the difficulty may make you run off.
Sound and Graphics: 8. I like them and the voice acting is great.
Controls: 8. Simple and little time is needed to adjust to them.
Writing: 8. Good.
Level Design: 7.5. I like it.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10, aka 4/5 stars.

Borderlands 2 Review

B*nerfart. That's right, we're calling it B*nerfart.

Now, I'm pretty damn excited for Borderlands: The Pre Sequel. Playing as a mech called Fragtrap, set on the moon with no gravity? Sounds awesome. So, because that's coming out, now is a good time to look at the previous game, Borderlands 2.

The story of Borderlands isn't as complex as other series' stories, but it's far from bad. You're a vault hunter on the planet Pandora in 5252, searching for minerals. But you gotta fight things like a guy with a mask on named Handsome Jack (Borderlands, stop complementing me). I don't know it that well since I haven't played the first, but I will soon.

Characters are one of the best parts of Borderlands 2. They're funny, memorable, and each unique. My favorites are Tiny Tina, the fat woman, and Claptrap. All have great voice acting and look awesome. Claptrap is one of my favorite robot video game companions, since his lines are funny as hell.

Weapons are the best part. There's like, 87 bazillion guns (and a similar number of brilliant puns), and all of them stand out. From Flame SMGs, to snipers, to rocket launchers, to pistols, to goddamn shotguns of electricity. They're all great and you can do sh*t any style you want. A lot of guns, a lot of puns, a lot a lot and a lot of fun. Yes, I made that joke. Deal with it.

As well as NPCs, though, there's also some great playable characters. Go as the stealthy assassin like me, or go as guns-blazing Arnold Schwarzenegger with turrets galore. As well as this, there's notably the Gunzerker, Siren, Physco and Mechromancer.

Enemies are well designed. You have the weak psychos and midgets, who either run at you with swords and fire or shoot you with a shotgun. Bandits are everywhere, shooting with guns you can pick up and forts you can raid, as well as the wildlife of Pandora, from angry birds swooping down to the beasts that roam everywhere, freely. They're all great, but lets not forget heavy hitters like Three Balls or Normad Pyros.

As well as these, there's also "badass" versions of enemies; more health, better guns, do more damage, bigger, look awesome. They're cool, and a great challenge for players.

Multiplayer is great in this game. You work with other players, fighting, continuing the game from where you finished off in singleplayer (or the other person, whatever). You level up, get loot, and fight bosses with friends. It's goddamn cool and enjoyable. Only problem is the guns. The trade system is cool as hell, but usually you have to grab what you can. It... can be annoying.

For those that care, graphics and sound is great here. You have an epic, cell-shading cartoon style game, with funny as hell lines that are voiced great by some talented actors. And sfx is good too. I like this style of graphics a lot.

I haven't played any DLC yet, so I can't judge it yet. But, currently, it is an outstandingly good game. I reccomend you get the Game of The Year edition, since it's only £10 and has over £75 in content. Pick it up asap.

Story: 9. Simple, and a great one.
Characters: 8.5. Hilarious, unique, and memorable.
Fun: 10. Multiplayer and singleplayer is sooooooo fun, and I love playing it with friends.
Sound and Graphics: 9. I love the cell shading style, and voice acting is brill.
Controls: 9. Any first person shooter player instantly adapts to them.
Writing: 9.
Level Design: 9. I love open worlds.

OVERALL RATING: 9/10, aka 4.5 stars.

Turok Review

Turok is an underrated game, since not much people talk about it. But, I was looking around in CEX one time a few weeks back, and saw the steelbook version of this. And it seems awesome, since you play as a guy who fights dinosaurs and soldiers with lots of weapons. So, here's my review.

First of all, characters. They're not a strongpoint of Turok. Whilst Turok himself is likeable, his allies die way too fast and it's funny more than emerging. I get it, Halo did the same sort of thing, as well as other games, but it isn't done too well here. Yet, the villain is pretty good, as when you get your bow you get a... flashback (I dunno what it is) to him. Kinda weird, but cool and well-executed.

Cutscenes show off the game. One minute, you're running through a burning ship, the next you're running from the giant T-rex. It's really good, and builds up suspense right before the first T-rex. Really good cutscenes here.

Multiplayer... sadly, I've never got a chance to play it. One of these two things have happened: either there's no one else in the UK playing it, or everyone is playing the awesome singleplayer. It's a real shame, though, as the multiplayer looks freakin' sweet. So if anyone ever wants to play it with me, my gamertag is Jerrika12. Would love to play it.

Weapons are cool. You can go silent or guns blazing; a bit like a less-intense Far Cry 3 or a jungle Splinter Cell depending on your style. SMGs can be dual wielded; only problem is that then you can't aim that way, since it has the same dual-controls as my favorite franchise, Halo. Bows are super-powerful and excellent, as you can kill an enemy soldier in one (full) shot. And I find the knife strangely useful for  for small dinosaurs.

The story is also pretty good. You play as, obviously, Turok, a soldier in space who crashlands onto an unknown planet with soldiers and dinosaurs. Minor spoiler here, but your friend dies as he is pulled through spiky plants by a dinosaur and then eaten. After that, you search for the crashland site and find a new friend (yay!) who leads you through. He hasn't died yet, but since Turok likes to kill off characters, he's gonna die. I know he is.

For those that care, sound and graphics are good. Morons might turn away from Turok due to it's nothing-special graphics, but hey, Half Life 2 graphics were similar and you guys LOVED them, don't lie. Sound is good, as music is cool, but I found myself with the occasional snigger at some voice acting. Not at all to say it's bad, just cheesy sometimes.

Trailer:

Now, I can't compare it to the originals, because I LITERALLY JUST TOOK A YOUTUBE BREAK AND SAW COMMENTS SAYING THERE WERE ORIGINALS. When I get them, expect a review. Until then, Turok is freakin' awesome, and you should buy it for a cheap steelbook costing £5.

Story: 8. It's kinda cliched, but still sweet.

Characters: 6.5. They're not a strongpoint for sure, but they're good.

Fun: 8.5. You aren't forced to play in any way, and there's no STAY IN THE MISSION AREA bullcrap like CoD has. Yes, deal with it, I hate CoD.

Sounds and Graphics: 7. Nothing special, but nice graphics and sound here.

Controls: 8. Simple and nice.

Writing: 7. Good, but not always acted well.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10, aka 4 stars.

Left 4 Dead 2 Review

I love Valve. They're generally a PC gaming company, but games for the Xbox 360 like Portal or Team Fortress 2 that they made are amazing. Here is one of their good games, aka Left 4 Dead 2. I like Left 4 Dead (first one) better though.

First of all, the characters. They are, disappointingly, not as good as the L4D ones. Ellis is a redneck, who has pretty funny lines, but he is sometimes annoying. Nick is a gambler, and a "bad-guy" character, but he's my favorite. Coach meets stereotypes and is funny. And Rochelle...

...no one likes Rochelle.

Maps are good, with ones like The Parish or Dark Carnival being my favorite. But what really, really, REALLY is just stupid is you have to buy all the maps with L4D characters. What?! Did Valve swap places with EA? What? THAT'S STUPID! And they cost about £5 each, so for ten of them it would be fifty pounds, add the twenty pounds you spent on the game... SIXTY POUND. That is just unacceptable. Valve, you're getting greedy. Stop it.

Enemies are awesome. There are normal zombies, but also extra ones. Unique zombies like the Riot Zombie have special ways to kill them, and with CEDA zombies they're fireproof and drop Boomer Bile. Then there's the special zombies. Hunters and Jockeys are annoying but are easy to kill, whilst Smokers and Spitters will try to stealthily harm you. Boomers will get in the way, and Tanks will make you want to get out of their way. It all works out well in a balanced, fun way.

Projectiles next. Molotovs will set them on fire, Pipe Bombs will lead all zombies (expect special zombies) astray to be blown up, and Boomer Bile will turn a hoard against whoever it lands on. Things that help are Medkits, helpful and common, adrenaline, which is like speedy pain pills, and pain pills, which will heal you temporarily. It's great.

Weapons are also pretty cool, with shotguns doing huge damage, SCARs being accurate and awesome, auto shotguns being BADASS, machine guns mowing down enemies, pistols destroying weak zombies or going rambo, M60s, destroying EVERYTHING, smgs, which are like mini AK47s, and meele weapons, which are so helpful.

As for the AI... well, take a look.

Music, graphics and sound is also well done. You may find some bugs or the rare hole in the map, but graphics are good. Graphics fit the apocalypse, and there is some great music.

L4D2 is great. Whilst L4D may be superior, buy this one too. You won't regret it.
Characters: 8.
Story: 6. Sorry, but it's weak, as it's told only through dialogue that's missable.
Fun: 8. Awesome, especially with friends.
Sounds and Graphics: 8.5. They fit the game well.
Writing: 7. Funny at times, but it tries to tell the story through it.
Control: 8. You gotta get used to it, but it's good when you do.
Level Design: 7.5. Great, but in the village on the Parish, WHERE DO I GO?
Co-op: OVER 9000.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10, aka 4/5 stars.

DmC: Devil May Cry Review

Why does everyone hate this game? Sure, it's not as good as Devil May Cry 3 or 4, but it's still a hella lot of fun. So, here's a review of the reboot of DmC. Keep in mind that if you hate this game, then sucks for you. This is my review so it's my opinion.

First of all, the new Dante. He SUCKS. All his is is some egotistic douchebag emo teenager, who just doesn't care about anything. And any gamer knows that an unlikeable character is the worst type of character. But there's worse characters. Kat is an alright character, I guess, but she isn't a strong character. Virgil is now a douchebag. That's right, they RUINED VIRGIL. He sees a demon, shoots her baby, lets it sink in, and then shoots her in the head. Because, y'know, screw honor! Even though his dad was a demon! And Dante is half demon!

What they really perfected, though, was combat. You throw your fingers all around the controller, slamming A Y RT Y Y Y HOLD A B X X X X X X Y Y UP UP Y and all kinds of crazy mixes to delightfully murder your enemies with a giant demon axe, an angel sychthe, Ebony and Ivory, and one awesome sword. We can all learn one thing - don't be a demon with a chainsaw. Combat is also EXTREMELY rewarding, as you get achievements with plenty of G for defeating a bunch of enemies or a boss. Nice.

For those that care, graphics are really amazing. It's artsy and feels good to look at, with graphics that actually make you wanna play more. They're that good. Voice acting, however, is bad, so is writing. Does anyone else remember this?
"I am... Mundus (I DUNNO HIS NAME)..."
"You're an a**hole!"
That was a classic so bad it's good.

Boss fights are fun. If you liked the bosses in Castle Crashers, then you'll love them here. You catch onto their attack patterns after fun trial-on-error, and they take a beating from your awesome moves. Gotta love dat.

DmC: Devil May Cry is a fun game. So why the hate? God knows. I reccomend you buy it, and if you don't like it, give it to a friend. It's a good game hiding underneath minor flaws.

Story: 6.
Fun: 10. Damn. DmC 5 is the most fun I've had. EVER.
Level Design: 7. Definatley fits with your weapons, and feels artsy.
Sounds and Graphics: 7. Bad sound, good graphics.
Writing: 3. Good? AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA.
Control: 7. If you don't let it be lazy button mashing, then it's great.
New Dante: 5. Hit or miss.

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10, aka 3.5 stars.

GUN for Gamecube Review

I love western games, I won't lie. Red Dead Redemption, Call of Juarez: Gunslinger, and now that I've got a gamecube my second favorite is GUN. It's fast paced, action-packed, and challenges your skill every second of every mission in a fun way.

This may contain minor spoilers, but here's the story. It's set in 1880, where you and Ned first hunt some animals and then fight a boss. Whilst on a boat to sell their meat, it gets attacked by an insane preacher, who calls in a group of renegade soldiers on boats. You escape and kill some soldiers, but Ned dies as the boat explodes. Several days later, you wake up from a knockout and are then attempted to be robbed by a thief called Honest Tom. After racing him, killing wolves with him, and he teaches you to fight, you're ambushed by him. And then... the west!

You know what I love about old games? Maybe they're short, but hell, the guns feel like guns. The revolver is sadly a little underpowered, but it still kills. Quickdraw, a feature that allows slowmotion, lets you switch targets as much as you want and shoot everyone. It's a really epic feature that I hope developers put in newer games.

The rifle is, arguably, the best weapon. It takes a short time to load a bullet after it's shot, has a decent sized magazine, and does a lot of damage. Your best use for it is on bosses, as fighting Indians with it will give them a chance to run up to you and attack as your gun loads the next bullet. It has an aim too! Your knife can do some damage, but it isn't recommended to be used constantly, as the stronger revolver has infinite ammo. But if enemies get close then let it rip.

The shotgun is the best to use on meele enemies. It has a large bullet spread, instakill, and will satisfyingly throw the enemies back on kill. It also takes a shorter time to load than the rifle, and is like a buffed version of it. Definatley use it whilst fighting the boss on the bridge.

Missions are fun, but the friendly AI is hit or miss. Jenny is the worst. She does next to no damage whilst just getting in the way, forcing you to restart the mission if she dies. Ned is useful in the boat mission, and so is the bartender in the missions where you save Jenny, but some AI really shouldn't be there at all.

Surprisingly, the escort/protect missions are really sweet. The thing you have to defend is given a ton of health, you get to checkpoints commonly, they're kinda short, and you don't get enemies shoved down your throat every 2 seconds. Ah, the good ol' days when Activision wasn't cheap...

The money system is balanced and fair. Not too much nor too little amounts are given out after a mission, which you can spend on weapon upgrades, or a pickaxe. But that pickaxe when you can, it's really useful.

Characters are memorable. Despite being stupid in combat, Jenny is a great character, and even enemies are likeable. They're just that well designed. Minor characters like the bartender are actually great, as he helps you and fills a lot of the cutscene INSTEAD OF RUNNING AROUND.

For those that care, graphics and sound are good for 2005. They're your general western graphics, but the sound is awesome. I didn't honestly expect the voice acting to be so good in an old game, but I enjoyed it obviously. Cutscenes show off the limits of graphics, but when you headshot someone in quicktime it is AWESOME.

Health is nailed. Enemies don't do too much damage, even bosses don't, and even when they do get you low health, a simple tap on the top of the d-pad will make you take a swig of your flask. You can only do it 4 times, but it restores full health without taking ages.

GUN is one of Activision's great, older games. If you want to shoot cowboys, have fun, and blow the heads off people with a revolver then pick it up.

Story: 7. A little confusing, but good.
Fun: 9.5. Nearly the most fun I've had on Gamecube.
Level Design: 8. Cover in suited places, and checkpoints common.
Sounds and Graphics: 8. What you would expect from a western game in 2005, but the heads exploding is sweeeeeeeeeeeet.
Writing: 7.5. Good script with amazing voice acting for a sixth-generation game.
Control: 8. It surprisingly masters the controls for the Gamecube.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10, aka 4/5 stars.

Nintendo Gamecube Review

Released just before the Wii, the Gamecube was met with mixed reviews, as some said it was good and some saying bad. Nintendo learnt from good - and bad - feedback from their N64 controller to make this controller, and the Gamecube was mostly bought for it's cheap price (being only £20 now for all plugs, a controller and the system), but is that all it was bought for?

Let's start with the memory. It's a strange thing. Instead of saving on a hardrive, you have to buy a memory card separately. I don't know if thats for all Gamecubes but it was for me. Due to this, it does make it lighter, but on the downside it will cost you a whopping £20 for a memory card with only a few GBs of memory. Not that that matters, though, the games take few memory.

The controller looks strange, but it's actually quite simple. Just like an Xbox controller, the d-pad and joysticks are in the same place. That's simple, because I'm used to the Xbox controller. DualShock users will have to get used to it though. The start/pause button is in a good place, too, and it's great there's one button for pause and not two. Buttons are somewhat unique, with two buttons at the top, and a B button diagonally below the A button also being slightly smaller. What I don't like about it, though, dosen't lie with the console; and instead the games.

The games have some okay but awkward controls. Usually, the trigger button is used for nothing or moving, and the A button to shoot. That's fine, but why not have the trigger button to shoot? I mean, it is called the trigger button. Whilst there is an incredibly small library for games, there are some great games on the Gamecube, such as Mario Kart, True Crime: Las Vegas, Resident Evil 4, Legend of Zelda: Windwaker, and much more. Saying that, they missed the chance to put on games like Half Life.

Let's talk about the console design. It's a square console. I guess Nintendo messed up with the Wii, and forgot it was good for a square console and not controller...? I don't know. It definatley makes good use of the small size, wasting no space to put on the fans, controller ports, and disk holder. What's strange though is how small the disks are. They have cases the size of Xbox 360 ones, but in reality, they only need to be as big as DS cases to fit in the game, and the manual can be shrunk down.

A downside is the lack of accessories. Aside from different colour controllers, there's... NOTHING. You have no plugholes for coolers, no special things, or anything else. That's a shame. With the N64, you had transparent controllers to small controllers. Same with Wii, but I'm NOT saying Wii is good.

Gamecube was great, but nothing special. If you want a full-out beast-looking hardcore machine, give it a pass, but if you just wanna enjoy some retro games, get it. It is only £25 at the smallest.

CONSOLE SUMMARY AND SCORE: Nothing special, but definitely fun. 7.5/10, aka 3 stars.

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas Review

Terrorists, Vegas, and Casinos!

First of all, why I didn't post for 5 days. My computer fan was messing up. Anyway, I am a huge fan of Tom Clancy's video games. He made games from the stealthy Splinter Cell all the way up to the awesome strategy games like Ghost Recon. Rainbow Six Vegas is one of his, in my opinion, best games, with fun around every corner and a fast-paced atmosphere.

The game begins with you as Logan Keller and your group Team Rainbow being dropped into the middle of Vegas. It used to be America's playground, but now it's a battlefield, as terrorists have overrun and wrecked the place. Constantly, you and your team will be firing at terrorists as they fire back in large groups, in numerous and common well-made epic gunfights. Awesome work there, Ubisoft.

Guns and ammo systems are the best I've seen in a long time. All the newest games seem to like ammo that doesn't show how much clips you have, and instead how much bullets, but Rainbow Six Vegas gets it right. If it says 12, then you have 12 clips, not 12 bullets. Its one of those systems that do it easily, such as great old games like this and Black, but now its gone. Why?! I hope it returns, because I really like it. Glad this game featured it.

For those that care, graphics are literally stunning. Why they may not be anything too special, they definatley stand out with great graphics for things like the Vegas fountains and the general light of the many lights in Vegas. Sound is great for an old game, no audiospikes yet.

A feature I really like is the feature to control your team. Regroup, go there, everything you need to fight strategically is there. It is really nice. The d-pad controls really well for it, too, with no awkward controls to it.

Let's speak about controls. They're good controls, considering I recently got used to the new aiming control of pushing down the bottom joystick. Possibly they may take some time to get used to, but once you are, they will feel so natural. Tom Clancy's games all have good controls, but this shines in that.

Level design is... godlike. I have seen few games where the design of being outside in areas with a ton of buildings used well, but Rainbow Six Vegas slapped me in the face and said "Hey, there are some that aren't like that!" You never get lost and it feels all natural without trying too hard to be fun, and just feels like you would find it in a battlezone. If you were fighting in a casino, you would fight like in this game. If all else fails, use the map.

Characters are... well, soldiers. They are far from forgettable, but they're nothing special. You have your team, the woman who guides you through missions (HITMAN MUCH), but aside from that, nothing much. Speaking of NPCs, the enemy and your team have some of the best AI I've seen in games.

Tom Clancy was an amazing game maker, author, and so on. His games are loved by gamers including me, and Rainbow Six Vegas is a great piece of work of his. Sorry for the short review, btw, but I may be getting Bioshock Tin Edition tomorrow, so... :D

Fun:  9. Fast paced shooting and amazing AI.
Characters: 7. Some stick out, but not that much.
Controls: 8. They feel natural, for sure, but definatley take a while to get used to. Nothing wrong with them though.
Story: 8. Rainbow Six Vegas has a really good story.
Graphics and Sound: 8. Surprisingly good, but nothing speical.
Writing: 10. Damn... for a military shooter, I expected sh*t voice acting... but was met with nothing such.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10, aka 4 stars.

Bioshock Infinite Review

It's infinite...

Irrational Games is now closing. Aww. Still though, 2K is going to make the Bioshock games, but I just hope that it doesn't end up like Gears of War; another great series of games that got screwed over because it was sold to another company. Anyway, moving onto the review.

Bioshock is one of my favorite game series', just gonna say that. They all feature creative enemies, characters and so on, whilst telling an amazing story along with it. This game is no exception to the great story feature. You are Booker Dewitt, in search of a girl named Elizabeth (you have to escort her to Paris) to pay off your debt. Yet, you are the false shepherd, and thus are wanted by police, robots, giant robots, police, patriots, police, and so on, all lead by the prophet. Did I mention there was police? Anyway, so yeah. Currently, Elizabeth has knocked me out, despite me being fine with her THROWING BOOKS AT ME, crying, whining, and frequently running away.

Despite her faults, however, Elizabeth is one of the rare few un-tough companions who aren't useless. She's handy in combat, puts up with most (but not all) of Booker's murder, denies to join the prophet who may be her dad (idk yet, no spoilers in the comments), and so on. She can also toss Booker useful items such as money, ammo, health, and pick locks. Finally, don't worry about protecting her, she can defend herself in combat.

Enemies are my favorite part about the creativity of Bioshock Infinite. From small enemies to the gigantic handymen, there are many, and each one being unique. Beginning with the handyman, he's a heavy hitter and a bullet sponge. But (on difficulties higher than easy... obviously), he's possibly too much of a bullet sponge, and due to his fast speed he's a pain in the neck. Their speed is fast, and if you're unprepared then it's scary, with their heavy attacks instantly destroying shields. Attacking them can be a slog if the level design is small, due to them being able to run around and leap huge distances, but generally they're a fun challenge and reward you with good loot.

Firemen and police next. Firemen can throw fire at you, and are a step up from police (being a little bit stronger). They're fun to battle. Police are the most common (and weak) enemies in the game, either having pistols/machine guns to shoot you with, or coming straight at you with batons. Common, and no challenge, basically being a reliable loot source.

Motorized patriots are next. They're pretty common, but not that much, with a large crank gun. They fire at you and do reasonable damage, with decent-sized health. Once you shoot them a bit their head comes off, freakishly, signalling that they're low health. That's fine, I guess, but why not have it for stronger enemies like the handyman? Like, the heart glass cracking or something?

As for the Boys of Silence... *shudder*

For those that care... graphics and sound time. Graphics are artsy and awesome, with a sorta steam-punk atmosphere. Sound is great too, with amazing voice acting from characters such as Elizabeth or the Prophet. But hey, that also counts for the enemies like the handyman. There has been no audio spikes, along with fitting music and HD sound effects.

What really dissapointed me, though, was the weapons. In Bioshock 1 + 2 you can carry how many weapons you want, but in Infinite you can only carry two. That's a shame, because I had to drop my sniper rifle to pick up a hand cannon. The weapons are okay-ish, but I really wanted more than pistol, shotgun, sniper, machine gun, etc with slightly modified clones. Aside from your sky-hook, nothing is really memorable. Come on, Irrational Games! You can do better than that! Heh, what I liked though was the press ^ to get an arrow where to go. It doesn't work so well on skylines, but it definatley is handy when you don't know where to go on ground.

Moving on. Level design is great. When you're fighting a handyman, the world is handy. When you move through buildings, they feel like they would actually be a building in real life instead of something cheesy and boring. Not to say it's dull, oh no, there are some ideal places, like the building when you first encounter the Prophet, that stand out from the rest.

Bioshock Infinite may not be as good as the other games, but it's definatley a great game that's worth your time.

Fun: 9.5. There's various things to keep you entertained, and none fail.
Chracters: 8. Most stand out, but there are some useless NPCs that do nothing. Most add to the dramatic amount in a scene, but some don't.
Controls: 8. Good, but definatley take some time to get used to.
Story: 9. Amazing.
Graphics and Sound: 9.5. Artistic, with amazing voice acting.
Writing: 9. Awesome writing, especially for Elizabeth.

OVERALL RATING: 9/10, aka 4.5 stars.

Halo 3 Review

Halo 3 - arguably the best Halo in the franchise. It combines the story with gunfights whilst picking up from where it left off in Halo 2. Nothing gets in your way unless you let it get in your way, honestly. The fun is near endless in this great, genre-defining hell of a game.

Let's start with the story of Halo. It's a really great and detailed story, but I'll shorten it down: in the past, a race called the Forerunners fought against the Flood, yet the Flood overran a ton of the Milky Way. One of the affected races, aka humanity, started to fight against the Forerunner... idk why, they fought against the Flood for God sake. That's the basic story, and there's something about Cortana yet I won't spoil it (I just got it ruined, so thanks Wikipedia, you morons). Here's the Wikipedia page on Halo, if you really wanna know the whole thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_(series).

One of the unique things about Halo is that you get to decide some of the controls. When you are instructed to look up, just as in Halo 2, whatever control you use then is automatically chosen as your control to look down (it has to be an analogue stick, and that analogue stick will then be used as the one to look around with). Controls are pretty simple, with the general A scheme. One thing that bugs me, however, is that the control to scope in is to push in the bottom analogue stick. Now, maybe I'm being dumb, but usually I use that for throwing grenades, crouching, etc in other games. The one I generally use for aiming is LT, but that throws a grenade. Unless you're used to it and a fan of Halo (first Halo I played was Halo 4 and that put me off), it can be kinda annoying when you accidentally throw a grenade and kill a friendly.

Weapons are fun. There are three types of weapons, which are the UNSC weaponry (the one you start out with), the Covenant weaponry, and the Forerunner weaponry. Starting with the UNSC weapons, there are a ton of weapons, and they're generally good guns. Snipers like the BR55HB SR Battle Rifle (it doesn't have to be used a sniper but I find it best to use it that way) deal heavy damage from long distances with great balance for when you have to face an enemy up close via it's burst fire feature. The gun you start with, the MA5C, is a machine gun that deals expected damage with plenty of ammo. The MG6 pistol is what you would expect from a pistol, and the rest are balanced and enjoyable to use weapons. Forerunner weapons are alright too, but the Covenant weapons aren't my favorite since the bullets don't instantly hit, and instead slowly fly through the air. It does good damage, but is annoying to hit enemies with.

Characters all stand out. Master Chief, the face of Xbox, is still an awesome character and they don't shove it right in your face, saying "LOOK, HE IS SO AWESOME, WOO!" No game that wants you to like a character does that. Instead, Halo builds up your respect for him, and in Halo 3 (despite faking to be dead) is still the respectable guy you saw in the other games. Take that, Max Payne 3, trying to make me respect a guy by using an hour long cut-scene to start with that I COULDN'T SKIP! I still like Max Payne 3 though... anyway, moving on. Johnson is a character I never really liked, but he's okay in Halo 3, even though he still shouts a ton when he's trying to just talk normal. Thel 'Vadam is useful in combat, but for the first part of the game his personality isn't really shown.

Now to the part I really don't give a damn about - sound and graphics. Graphics are really great, but the lighting on the weapon can sometimes be off. Despite that fact, the graphics are still well done, from the bullet dust when a bullet hits a wall right to the laser bullets flying through the air. Sound is sweet too, with no audio spikes so far (for those that don't know, audio spikes is when the sound suddenly blasts), as well as the audio not going suddenly quiet. My only issue is when Cortana appears for the first time with sudden audio, as it gave me a mini heart attack. I thought the G-Man in Half Life 2 was the end of that, and even he wasn't that startling!

Enemies are mostly great. Shields, Brutes, and so on are unique, each facing you with different ways to kill them and different amounts of health. The only enemy that I have a problem with is the Unggoy... wtf? They're annoying little weak enemies that appear in packs along with a few strong enemies, them distracting you and getting in the way. They run away like morons when you fire at them, and their dialogue is so, SO annoying. Maybe they were designed to be annoying, I dunno.

So yeah, that's Halo 3. An amazing, great game with fun around every corner, and deserves the title "Game of the decade".

Fun: 9.5. Seriously, I really love it.
Characters: 9. Love them or hate them, they all stand out.
Controls: 7. Easy enough, but that grenade thing is annoying.
Story: 10. Halo's story is one of the best stories in video games.
Graphics and Sound: 8. Great, but lighting can be a bit off on weapons.
Writing: 9.5. Sometimes cheesy, but overall very good.
Tea-bagging Allowance: 9.5. Teabagging just got bigger and better.

OVERALL SCORE: 9.5/10, aka 4.75 stars.